Real American Wrestleblog

This blog predates Jack Swagger's gimmick shift by a year. I named it after Hulk Hogan's entrance theme.

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Real American Top Ten: Matches that need to happen in 2012

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10) Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler – These are two of the greatest performers on the roster, but I don’t know that they’ve ever had the opportunity to work against each other.  Ziggler has made leaps and bounds as a performer since Jericho took some time away from the ring for Dancing with the Stars and a new book.  But since Jericho made his return at the beginning of the year, Ziggler has been reduced to facing Brodus Clay on a regular basis instead of continuing to pursue the WWE Championship.  While both of these guys are currently heels, this potentially match-up is too good to let go unrealized.  Jericho could easily be embraced as a fan favorite, but I think Ziggler could benefit from spending some time as a face and as talented as he is, he could easily make it work.  Both of these guys are great heels, so I kind of hate to push for one of them to make an abrupt face turn, but the potential payoff of this great match-up should be worth it.

9) CM Punk vs. Wade Barrett – After Punk unceremoniously seized control of the Nexus and kicked Barrett to the curb, we never really got to see these two get after each other for a substantial period of time.  Barrett immediately left Raw for Smackdown and created the Corre and for a short while the Nexus and the Corre were ready to go at each other’s throats, but that – as well as both groups – failed to hold up long term.  And just because the dust has settled on the graves of both factions, that doesn’t necessarily mean that all of the bad blood between these two superstars has been thoroughly worked out of their systems.  When Barrett gets back from his injury, Punk could be one of his first targets.

8) Rey Mysterio vs. Sin Cara – Two of the greatest lucha libre stars to make their way to the States could put on one heck of a show if given the opportunity to face off against each other, although it might be more likely that they could be paired together as a tag team at some point before Rey rides off into the sunset.  Both men are currently recovering from injuries and Mysterio has a suspension to deal with as well, but when both men come back, this is one encounter that we’re going to need to see happen before the end of Rey’s career.

7) CM Punk vs. Christian – These are two of the wrestlers who are among the most respected by long-time fans that are still on the roster.  They are also two of the biggest standouts in the realm of the ladder match and with TLC coming up in July, perhaps we could see these two meet in a Ladder Match for the WWE Championship if that place isn’t still held by Daniel Bryan.  Any kind of match between these two would certainly put on a great show.

6) Beth Phoenix vs. Kharma – The two most dominant divas on the WWE roster and easily the two most dominant women’s wrestlers in the last five years in WWE and TNA respectively.  While Kharma has had a lot of tragedy to deal with, she did manage to return for one night only for the Royal Rumble and it remains unclear what her status with the company is going to be for the rest of the year.  And with Beth sidelined by an ankle injury, real or kayfabe, it isn’t certain that the Glamazon would be around for Kharma to face off with even if she were to return in the near future.  It’s unclear how soon we will see either woman back in the squared circle, but this clash of female wrestling’s titans needs to not go unfulfilled.

5) Sheamus vs. Kane – The Celtic Warrior matching his might against the Big Red Machine could be in store for the very near future with Kane almost certain to wrap up his rivalry with Randy Orton after Over the Limit.  Regardless of whether Alberto Del Rio manages to wrestle the World Heavyweight Championship away from Sheamus, the Great White could be the next victim to come into Kane’s crosshairs as he’s transitioned from John Cena to Randy Orton already this year and a World Title push shouldn’t be counted out for the devil’s favorite demon this summer.

4) Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho – Not all that likely a match to happen with both guys embracing their inner bad guy at the moment, but either one is always ripe for a face turn because they are so beloved by the fans regardless of what they do to the younger fans heroes and how underhanded it may be.  And while this match has occurred in the past, Bryan was never on any kind of equal footing with Jericho.  However, Bryan is now on top of his game, transitioning right from a lengthy World Heavyweight Title reign to being next in line to challenge CM Punk for the WWE Championship at Over the Limit.  If Bryan ends up on Raw full time as a result, it could be only a matter of time before these two square off again, no matter who’s wearing the white hats or the black hats.

3) Sheamus vs. Lord Tensai – This match may not be all that probable with Sheamus carrying Smackdown! as the World Heavyweight Champion and Tensai running roughshod over the Raw locker room.  However, the red and blue brands have bled together into purple since last summer and it seems that belonging to Raw and Smackdown is going to mean less and less for the foreseeable future.  This could be a great clash of East vs. West and yes, Tensai is not really Japanese, but he legitimately did become a big star over there and has embraced various aspects of their wrestling culture.  This powerhouse clash could have a lot of potential if it happens.

2) CM Punk vs. The Rock – The People’s Champion came back on the scene in a big way in 2011 despite only making a dozen or so appearances, several of which were via satellite and only wrestling the one match at Survivor Series before his epic Once in a Lifetime encounter with John Cena at Wrestlemania XXVIII.  But now Rock has promised to try to once again become the WWE Champion.  And while some might expect John Cena to be holding the gold when Rock comes asking for a title shot, it would be great to see two of the greatest talkers in the history of the company trade verbal barbs leading into a title match.  Rock still possesses some of the athleticism that helped make him stand-out in the 1990s and if anybody is going to get the most out of what Rock can still bring, Punk may just be the guy to go to.

1) Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar – A dream match that never quite happened back in 2002-2003 because of the brand extension with Triple H carrying the World Heavyweight Championship on Raw while Lesnar carried the WWE Championship over on the blue brand.  If WWE hadn’t been so overly successful that it was able to carry two separate brands and two separate World Championships for the past decade, we could have seen this match with both men back in their prime, but we missed out on that privilege.  However, you can never say never in this business and now that Lesnar is back and has taken out his rage on the veteran superstar and rookie figurehead, it seems this match is just a matter of time and chief speculation among any fans I’ve talked to is that we’ll be seeing this match at SummerSlam in a little over three months.  However, if Triple H chose not to return to the ring after his End of an Era Hell in a Cell Match with the Undertaker, nobody could blame him.  There simply isn’t much of a better way to go out that with a send-off like that.

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Written by I Am a Real American

May 6, 2012 at 5:54 am

Posted in Alberto Del Rio, Beth Phoenix, Beth Phoenix vs. Kharma, Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, CM Punk, CM Punk vs. The Rock, Corre, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Dwayne Johnson, End of an Era, Friday Night Smackdown, Hell in a Cell, John Cena, Kane, Ladder Match, Lord Tensai, Monday Night Raw, Nexus, Once in a Lifetime, Over the Limit, Pro Wrestling, Real American Top Ten, Rey Mysterio, Rey Mysterio vs. Sin Cara, Sheamus, Sin Cara, SummerSlam, Survivor Series, The Rock, The Rock vs. John Cena, TLC, TNA, Triple H, Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar, Undertaker, Wade Barrett, World Heavyweight Championship, Wrestlemania, Wrestlemania 28, Wrestlemania XXVIII, WWE, WWE Championship

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Real American Top Ten: Wrestler Performances in Television and Movies Every Wrestling Fan Should See

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First of all, I’m not recommending any of these TV appearances or Movies because they are cinematic masterpieces.  I am not attempting to say these are award worthy performances.  I’m just saying that as a wrestling fan, I really enjoyed these performances and I think if you’re a wrestling fan, you will as well.  And while it pains me to leave Ready to Rumble off the list, I don’t think any of the WCW guys had all that great of a performance, even though the movie itself is a must own for any fan of professional wrestling.  If Oliver Platt were an actual wrestler, his performance as Jimmy King would certainly be at the top of any list of must see performances for a wrestling fan.

#10 – Family Guy (The Rock) – Just a flat out hilarious bit part in the January 2010 episode “Big Man on Hippocampus.”  In the episode, during a steamy Peter and Lois sex scene, they claim the scene is too steamy for the FCC to allow them to show and instead cut to a simulation of the scene performed by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  Rock is seen holding a Peter Griffin action figure with a Lois action figure laying on the table and he deadpans perfectly as he slams the Peter doll up and down on top of Lois, looking very much like a little kid playing with his dolls and sliding her very quickly toward the edge of the table and she falls off, leaving Rock holding the Peter figure and looking confused.  Rock then rolls his eyes and looks embarrassed before we cut back to the conclusion of the sex scene.

#9 – Psych (Mickie James) –   From the September 2008 episode “Talk Derby to Me” in which Juliet goes undercover on a women’s roller derby team, of which the captain is Mickie’s character Rita “Lethal Weapon” Westwood.  The police suspect the team of being responsible for a series of burglaries and turns out they are right and when bodies start dropping, things take a turn and put Juliet’s life at risk, but when Shawn comes to the rescue, Juliet ends up saving him with a vicious Clothesline.  It was a very solid episode and it was nice to see Mickie play a bad girl for the first time since her Trish Stratus stalker gimmick.

#8 – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Roddy Piper) – Piper plays the Da’ Maniac in the 2009 episode “The Gang Wrestles for the Troops”, in which the guys at the bar recruit Piper to participate in a wrestling match to benefit troops returning home as a response to Dee chatting online with a soldier and then hanging out with him upon his return home.  Unfortunately, Piper’s character turns out to be a bit too crazy for them and gets himself arrested, so he doesn’t make an appearance for the match itself.  Piper is still great as always and the match the guys put on is incredibly stupid, but absolutely hilarious.  Even without Piper’s appearance, it would have been a great episode for wrestling fans and with him, it’s a definite must see.

#7 – Spider-Man (Randy Savage) –  Who can ever forget Bonesaw vs. The Amazing Spider-Man?  I sure can’t as Macho Man chases a freaked out Peter Parker around a steel cage in one of Spider-Man’s first ever fights as he looks to use his newfound powers to win a $3,000 prize for the wrestling match to help pay for a sports car.  The fight and Spider-Man’s victory plays a pivotal role in his origin story for the 2002-2007 Spider-Man film trilogy as Spider-Man is stiffed by the promoter and given only $100 despite defeating Bonesaw, leading Spidey to allow a thief to escape with the promoters money and the thief ends up shooting Peter’s father figure, his uncle Ben, leading Peter to take on a greater responsibility as Spider-Man.

#6 – Psych (Stacy Keibler) – From the episode “Thrill Seekers and Hell-Raisers” in February 2010.  Stacy joins Shawn and Gus on a river-rafting trip and it quickly becomes evident that her character is not shy about putting the moves on Shawn and is more than happy to initiate things.  Things quickly become complicated as one of the river-rafting party goes missing an Stacy becomes one of Shawn’s suspects as well as Gus’ new girlfriend Ruby (played by the very attractive Sarah Shahi).  Turns out neither of them is guilty, but here’s to hoping Stacy makes a return to the show at some point.  Also, be sure to check out her appearances on How I Met Your Mother and Chuck.

#5 – The Punisher (Kevin Nash) –  Epic fight scene as Nash shows up dressed in a ridiculous red and white striped t-shirt, looking like an overgrown beach boy with classical music blaring in the background as Nash punches a hole through the door to the Punisher’s apartment and commences delivering punishment of his own.  The Punisher throws everything he can at Nash and Nash classically no-sells pretty much all of it (kind of like in WCW) and levels Punisher with an entire toilet that he uprooted from the floor.  At one point, The Punisher even hurls a grenade at Nash, which Nash nonchalantly bats back at him, forcing Punisher to dive for cover and the explosion puts an end to the classical music, but only temporarily as Nash and Punisher continue to bash each other through walls and with anything they can pick up while the other characters comically fail to notice any of this is going on until Nash and Punisher finally come crashing through their front door.  The fight finally culminates with Nash taking a pot of boiling pasta sauce to the face and being tackled down a flight of stairs to his demise.  Definitely a must see.

#4 – Boy Meets World (Vader) – One of my favorite shows growing up and I still watch the reruns occasionally in the rare instance I can find them on.  Vader appeared in three episodes as pretty much himself as it is revealed Vader is the father of Cory and Shawn’s bully turned friend, Frankie Stechino (played by Ethan Suplee).  In multiple instances, Frankie, Cory and Shawn show up to Vader’s matches to help Vader out and give him advice such as to waste less time before delivering the Vader Bomb.  I don’t recommend this for Vader’s acting chops, but because its a great show with great characters that saw fit to include professional wrestling as a story arc on the show.

#3 – The Longest Yard (Kevin Nash) – Kevin Nash cracks the top five, not once, but twice.  This is an all around good remake of a classic that actually showcases the acting talents of several wrestlers including Stone Cold Steve Austin, Goldberg and The Great Khali, but Nash definitely steals the show with his estrogen-pill popping performance.  He had me damn near rolling in the aisles and busting my gut, I was laughing so hard, especially the scene on the sidelines where Stone Cold tells him to “Stop acting like a damn cheerleader” and Nash responds with “Sportsmanship triumphs” and then makes a sour face at Stone Cold.  He also experiences several other uncharacteristic non-manly moments as a result of the other team replacing his steroids with estrogen, all of which are hilarious.  Nash rarely got a chance to show off his comedic chops and have it be legitimately funny, so enjoy it where you can.

#2 – They Live (Roddy Piper) – One of the all time greatest lines in cinema – “I am here to kick ass and chew bubble gum… And I am all out of bubble gum.” comes from this movie.  Roddy Piper can be seen kicking ass from back in his heyday.  I know Piper hasn’t lost any of his charisma, but he doesn’t really look like much of an ass-kicker these days and watching They Live is a great way to remember him from his prime. For an 80s sci-fi flick starring a wrestler in the lead, you really can’t ask for more than what They Live delivers in my opinion.

#1 – Walking Tall (The Rock) – One of my all-time favorite action flicks and easily my favorite of Rock’s movies.  If you only watch one of Rock’s movies, I highly recommend this one.  For other solid movies before he became way less entertaining in my view, check out The Rundown and The Scorpion King.  Gridiron Gang is a good, touching movie, but it isn’t the type of movie that I think anyone could watch again and again.  Walking Tall, on the other hand, I have seen at least a dozen times and I even coupled it with the work of Marshall McLuhan (a communication theorist) to get an A on a Mass Communication project my freshman year of college.  It’s a great story about taking back a community from corruption and teaching the members of that community to “Walk Tall” once again.  Plus, you have The Rock beating the bejesus out of dozens of bad guys all by himself.  Throw in Johnny Knoxville to add to the comedy and it makes a pretty great flick.  Not the stuff that classics are made of, but it is very entertaining and you can see what The Rock was like before he starting churning out Disney flicks.